The Richest Idiot in America Runs for President

At 11:06 AM this morning, Donald Trump, who is most known for being the result of a human mating with an orangutan, decided to announce that he has almost $9 Billion in his bank account. Oh and also, he’s running for President.

A few quick things:

1. He has no experience in the public sector. He has spent all 69 years of his existence (I was surprised to learn he’s still in his 60’s, that wig and make-up combination says otherwise) getting rich off the efforts of his father and declaring bankruptcy. He isn’t even a very good politician. In his Presidential announcement speech, you would be hard pressed to find someone more engaged in solipsism than Trump. Trump should be running as the head of the Church of Self-Worship, because that is all this man knows. His deranged paranoia runs fever high, calling the U.S. a “dumping ground” for Mexico and vehemently stating that Mexico is “not our friends.” He claims he has spoken to several U.S. Border Agents (99% sure that’s not true) and that ISIS is on our borders (also 99% that’s not true). He claims China is just around the corner from beating us economically and that he “beats China all the time”. He claims that China and Mexico “have all of our jobs”, which can be very easily disproved by simply looking at the fact that the U.S. had added more jobs than either country since the healing from the Great Recession began around 2010. His criticism of Obamacare is that the website doesn’t work, and that he could fix it because he built a website for $3.00 (I doubt that website he built for $3 has to communicate simultaneously with both the IRS and Department of Social Security). I have no idea what the hell this guy is talking about, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t either.

2. He is hated by the G.O.P. Harry Enten of FiveThirtyEight (the website run by Nate Silver, the man who used statistical aggregates to predict the last two Presidential Elections) shows that 57% of Republicans have an unfavorable view of Trump. Also judging by the feuds Trump has started with Jonah Goldberg (of the National Review), Michelle Malkin and other conservative activists, it becomes hard to imagine that he is going to be viewed favorably by GOP primary voters.

3. He’s taking advantage of the crowded GOP primary field. We already have 15 declared GOP presidential candidates, and by the time Scott Walker, Jeb Bush and others get in we could have around 23. This is already creating headaches for the RNC and Fox News, who just had a spat over the upcoming format for the first GOP debate (FOX only wants to host the top 10 GOP candidates in the debate, but the other candidates claimed it was unfair, so now there will be an afternoon “get to know you” forum for the less popular GOP candidates). How exactly will Trump stand out in such a crowded field? I’m guessing GOP primary voters are not going to be impressed by a NYC-based business tycoon who is mostly known for a terrible reality show.

4. Coming out against free trade. While Trump did not actually give any substative points against the Trans-Pacific Trade Partnership, he is coming out against it and claiming that free-trade is bad. Well, that view is definitely not shared with the majority of GOP primary voters. Also, how is Trump going to convince GOP primary voters that he’s pro-life and loves gun-rights? How is Trump planning on convincing voters that he can repeal Obamacare? How is Trump going to convince voters he can get rid of Common Core? He can’t, and I doubt GOP primary voters and conservative pundits are going to be convinced by this horrible speech.

Trump has all the right racially-tinged lingo (although he did not come out in support of voter I.D. laws, but I’m guessing he will eventually) to fit in with the likes of Bobby Jindal, Ted Cruz and other anti-immigrant candidates. GOP primary voters like low-taxes and do have respect for the wealthiest of Americans, but even someone as ostentatiously affluent as Donald Trump is enough to make GOP primary voters join the nearest Occupy Wall Street tent. The notion that this guy will become president is about as real as his hairpiece on his head.

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