National Review proves liberals are National Socialists, part 3,652

So in case anyone isn’t familiar with the National Review, it is a magazine (now online) that is very conservative, fairly establishment-minded and usually level-headed. Though I disagree with all of their contributors, I enjoy reading it for the same reasons that I still occasionally visit McDonald’s. I always know that I’m going to regret it later, but in the meantime it’s very satisfying. Author Kevin D. Williamson is very much like one of those tasty treats at McDonald’s. He has all the hellfire and brimstone of a guy like Erick Erickson, but without the Christianity. Despite his professed atheism, Williamson is probably conservative enough to work for World Net Daily, but unfortunately for him he’s literate and not willing to subscribe to birther conspiracies (sorry Joseph Farrah).

So before I respond to his latest piece on Berinie Sanders, here’s a look at his hit piece on Orange Is the New Black‘s transgender character (Laverne Cox) and how she is “not a woman” according to Williamson (highlight quote: “Regardless of the question of whether he has had his genitals amputated, Cox is not a woman, but an effigy of a woman. Sex is a biological reality, and it is not subordinate to subjective impressions, no matter how intense those impressions are, how sincerely they are held, or how painful they make facing the biological facts of life. No hormone injection or surgical mutilation is sufficient to change that.”).

Anyway, enough pretext; let’s get on with the show. Williamson starts off by painting a picture of himself surrounded by 11,000 hippies at a Bernie Sanders rally in Marshalltown, Iowa. I assume he is terrified being trapped in this leftist milieu, but it’s hard to know. Based on the tone of the article, it seems he is more comfortable here than the time he was visiting East St. Louis, Ill. Moving along, Williamson gets right to the point in labeling Sanders a socialist, which is obviously the theme of the article. Williamson begins this by saying that Sanders’ penchant for calling his supporters “brothers” and “sisters” is merely a few beers away from turning into “comrades” (apparently when liberals get drunk, that’s when they really start effusing their true love of socialism).

Williamson continues his quest to prove Sanders’ socialism by scoping out the audience for evidence. Luckily for him, there’s plenty to choose from. Williamson finds an old grandmother who apparently doesn’t trust the Democratic Party and a “young mother” who apparently is the wife of a man who has been trying to convince her to move to a socialist country. Williamson goes on to portray the “young mother” as a typical leftist know-nothing, but then… he gets a goldmine. When the woman in question states her concern about “sending [American] jobs overseas”, Williamson knows then that he has her caught RED-HANDED. She’s obviously a national socialist (OBVY!).

And all this so so obvious when you think about it. OF COURSE the reason why Americans are concerned about the decline of manufacturing jobs (among jobs in several other sectors) is the exact same reason Hitler invaded Poland in 1939. Hitler grew tired of those damned Pols trading with other countries and stealing Germany’s manufacturing jobs. Hence, Hitler was xenophobic, so are all liberals. Williamson then ties Sanders to an interesting figure in American history: Jesse Helms. Williamson states they are oh-so similar because they both apparently “…voted against the Clinton-backed China-trade legislation.” Williamson forgot to mention that one of his heroes, Ted Cruz, donated money to Jesse Helms when he was younger. But then again, we all know Ted Cruz is a dirty liberal (aka modern day national socialist) who hates free trade. Okay, okay, only the hating free trade part is true (and only when President Obama supports it).

Moving even further along, Williamson then continues his tirade against the Vermont Senator by calling him a racist for being only concerned about with “…brown people — Asians, Latin Americans”, but not the Swedes, Canadians or Germans. So naturally, Bernie Sanders wants to send Asians and Latin Americans to internment camps and have them executed. I never saw that on Sanders campaign website, but perhaps I didn’t look hard enough.

After detailing about how a German nor Danish Welfare State would not work in Florida, Williamson then goes on to his next critique of Sanders: His desire to build a a political career through criminalizing everything. And what is he looking to criminalize? Political dissent, DUH. And by that, of course Williamson is referring to Sanders’ desire to overturn 2009 Citizens United decision by the U.S. Supreme Court. Because everyone remembers before the Citizens United case, people were constantly being thrown in jail for… I don’t know, exactly, but Williamson does.

Oh, and Sanders is not only guilty wanting to jail people who disagree with him, but he’s also a Totalitarian (OF COURSE, IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH ****ING SENSE NOW). Where is the evidence of Bernie Sanders’ affinity for Totalitarianism, you may ask? I can’t even believe I have to explain to you National Socialist liberals, but fine, I will. I mean, it’s not like Williamson (along with a few other NRO writers) make their careers by accusing people of being Socialists, Communists and Marxists with incredibly specious evidence, right? Right?

Okay, so here’s the rub. Sanders is a Totalitarian because he paints a negative portrait of his political opponents (i.e. the Koch Brothers, the Walton family, Congressional Republicans, those who work on Wall Street, etc.) and wants to make it illegal for them to participate in electoral politics. Well, not make it illegal, but limit their monetary contributions to political campaigns. On a completely unrelated note, what about those pesky Voter I.D. laws which just so happen to put obstacles for certain Black/African-Americans, college students and Latino Americans to vote? Those voters tend to disagree with Williamson, yet Williamson is a staunch supporter of those laws. Hmm… well, it’s almost as if Williamson is guilty of the same Totalitarian beliefs he accuses Sanders of having. Wait a second… OH MY GOD, NRO COLUMNIST KEVIN WILLIAMSON IS A TOTALITARIAN, NATIONAL SOCIALIST, MARXIST, COMMUNIST, LIBERAL FASCIST!  I don’t know how Rich Lowry let this guy get in the building, but it’s good somebody pointed this out. Otherwise, NRO would have one less talented writer to make deceptive and hollow claims about how liberals actually want Socialism and Fascism.

At the end of the day, this is the type of thing I love about NRO. And this isn’t the first time Williamson has shown his hysterical paranoia. Jonathan Chait beautifully covered his paranoia when one Gawker columnist (and RFK in a speech) advocated for jailing some climate change deniers, and now we have Gawker Totalitarianism. But then again, this is how NRO has always worked. Some liberal says something, NRO reports that not only do all liberals believe whatever was said by whatever liberal, but that it also serves as proof that liberals are against freedom.

Now, I’ve been meaning to ask this for a while now: Does the fact that the NRO had to become a non-profit organization (as opposed to a non-profit business) prove that the Free Market doesn’t like them? After all, the Free Market decided that it likes The Huffington Post, The Atlantic and the New York Times. Where art thou, Goddess Ayn Rand?

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