As we all know, President Obama has been in Alaska all week renaming Mount McKinley to Mount Black Power, or something. As President Obama was busy further destroying what it means to be an American, he was fishing with some people at Kanakanak Beach, located in the western Alaskan city Dillingham. During the course of his fishing escapade, a salmon that he caught ejaculated on him (see video below).
Naturally, because we have an awesome president, Obama laughed and handled it completely appropriately. As I’m typing this, the fish that ejaculated on Obama is now leading the polls for the 2016 Republican nomination for president (in b4 late night hosts on TV make this very same joke).